- Summary of Life
- GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
- 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
- 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
- 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
- 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
- 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
- 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
- 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
- 9) Don't wear polka-dot under wear under white shorts.
- 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
- GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
- 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
- 2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
- 3) Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
- 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
- 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
- 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
- GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
- 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
- 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
- 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
- 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
- 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
- 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
- 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
- THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
- 1) You believe in Santa Claus.
- 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
- 3) You are Santa Claus.
- 4) You look like Santa Claus..
- SUCCESS:
- At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
- At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
- At age 17 success is . having a drivers license.
- At age 35 success is . . having money.
- At age 50 success is . .. having money.
- At age 70 success is . .. ... having a drivers license.
- At age 75 success is . . having friends.
- At age 80 success is . . not piddling in your pants.
- Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.
- Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*