1.  It insulates the closet where it is kept.

2.  It helps keep the economy going. It is our patriotic duty to support cotton farmers, textile mills, and quilt shops.

3.  It is less expensive and more fun than psychiatric care.

4.  Because it’s on sale.

5.  Because I’m worth it.

6.  A sudden increase in the boll weevil population might wipe out the cotton crop for the next ten years.

7.  I’m participating in a contest: the one who dies with the most fabric wins.

8.  It keeps without refrigeration, you don’t have to cook it to enjoy it, and you never have to feed it, change it, wipe its nose, or walk it.

9.  I need extra weight in the trunk of my car for traction on snowy, icy roads. This is important, even in Florida and Southern California—you never know when the weather will change.

10.  Like dust, it’s good for protecting previously empty spaces in the house, like the ironing board, the laundry hamper, and dining room table…

11.  When the Big Earthquake comes, all the quilt shops might be swallowed into the ground and never be seen again.

12.  Stress from dealing with the Fabric Control Officer (my husband) made me do it.

13.  It’s not immoral, illegal or fattening. It calms the nerves, gratifies the soul, and makes me feel good.

14.  Buy it now, before your husband retires and goes with you on all your shopping expeditions.

15.  A yard a day is all the quilt shops of America ask.